Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas review

Christmas on the inside.....

and on the outside.

Here are the knitted gifts.
Mom loved the market bag, my
nephew is adorable in the

gator scarf

and the little bracelet bags were a big hit.

This is my Christmas appearance here at the skein.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas
and wish ya'll a safe and Happy New Year.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tuesday night knitting - gift exchange

The pictures speak for themselves!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I had this big rant on why things happen, but my own issues with God and religion would color anything I had to say. I would not want to lose any of my wonderful friends.
So I will keep the rant to myself.
I no longer have any answer to give him when he asks why is this happening to him. I don't know is just not good enough anymore (never really was) , it offers no help or comfort.
I am back to feeling very helpless in all of this. I am supposed to care for them, keep them safe and warm, ease their fears and help them learn how to survive in this big harsh world. I can't even help him survive elementary school.
Things have take several steps back, back to where he is begging not to be taken to school, holding on to walls, door knobs and car handles. Mondays are hard, always have been.
It is just too much to go back after being home for two days.
The school nurse is a real bitch. She should have retired a long time ago. Most kids do not notice sarcasm or recognize snide comments, but mine does. I have talked to her and the principle about being kind and understanding. The need to not make things worse. I know this is a very frustrating situation for all involved and can be disruptive to the routine in the office, but come on. Have some compassion, they are not adults but children with fragile feelings and little self confidence.
I will be glad when Christmas break starts, the horrible mornings will end for awhile.
I do know a whole new set of issues will begin. I can never decide what is worse. Too much togetherness is rough for everyone. He commented the other day that he bets I wish he was not my son. I cannot emphasize enough how much that is untrue. I wish a lot of things, I wish my cousin had not been killed when he was 17 and I was 15, I wish I still had my grandparents, I wish we had more money but I do not wish away any of my children.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Tuesday/Friday night knitting

Nicole looks so proud of her fun fur/novelty yarn scarf. She plans to wear it with the beautiful lace wrap sweater she finished Thanksgiving week.

These will be some teacher gifts. I used this Free pattern. Made 6 so far, Eli has already taken one to school.

Lora this picture of your beautiful mom is for you. Loretta is working on a ballband dishcloth.

Look at those socks, yes the feet are on the table. One foot belongs to Ashley and the other one to Holly.

We were just too wild for Jayce. He could not take anymore of our conversations. There was a very in depth discussion on weather to shave or not to shave legs in the winter. The consensus was to not. It was even said that the longer the leg hair is the better job is does keeping the leg warm.
It was only about 11:30 pm when we left Grinny Possum
P.S. I cannot tell a lie. Nicole is not going to wear that scarf. She is knitting it for an aunt. I think it is one of those aunts that no one talks about.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I can relate

We just finished watching this Hallmark movie. I have never had to deal with Tourettes Syndrome but I could see lots of similarities to what we are dealing with at home. No young boy wants to bring attention to themselves by making strange noises or crying all the time. So the "he could stop if he wants to/only trying to get attention" is totally absurd. If people would just take a moment to think, they would realize how ridiculous they sound. I have seen the anger he felt in the scene sitting in the car after being treated very badly. It is overwhelming when you want to stop and the wanting just makes it all worse. You need the support of your family but you don't want them to see you like that. Don't want them to see you out of control. Angry one minute saying "you do things just to hurt me, don't care at all how I feel" . How horrible, mean and heartless you are. Lashes out at those around that love you. The next minute is filled with sobbing "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I don't know why I say things like that. Every morning before school is so hard. So hard for him to face. Hard for me to hear the despair in his voice and see how panicked he becomes. It goes against all motherly instinct to do what I have to do every morning. I have to send an angry, sobbing, terrified child to school everyday. Instead of keeping him home where he feels safe and relaxed. Where he can see me and know that everything is fine.
It was really hard for him to go back after Thanksgiving break. This past week was really awful for everyone. I am so very worried about how it will be when he is off school during Christmas break.

Alex is modeling a hat I knit for a homeless shelter for teens in California. My goal is to knit one or two hats a month and have a big box to send next fall.

I love seeing him look so happy.