Sunday, December 7, 2008

I can relate

We just finished watching this Hallmark movie. I have never had to deal with Tourettes Syndrome but I could see lots of similarities to what we are dealing with at home. No young boy wants to bring attention to themselves by making strange noises or crying all the time. So the "he could stop if he wants to/only trying to get attention" is totally absurd. If people would just take a moment to think, they would realize how ridiculous they sound. I have seen the anger he felt in the scene sitting in the car after being treated very badly. It is overwhelming when you want to stop and the wanting just makes it all worse. You need the support of your family but you don't want them to see you like that. Don't want them to see you out of control. Angry one minute saying "you do things just to hurt me, don't care at all how I feel" . How horrible, mean and heartless you are. Lashes out at those around that love you. The next minute is filled with sobbing "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I don't know why I say things like that. Every morning before school is so hard. So hard for him to face. Hard for me to hear the despair in his voice and see how panicked he becomes. It goes against all motherly instinct to do what I have to do every morning. I have to send an angry, sobbing, terrified child to school everyday. Instead of keeping him home where he feels safe and relaxed. Where he can see me and know that everything is fine.
It was really hard for him to go back after Thanksgiving break. This past week was really awful for everyone. I am so very worried about how it will be when he is off school during Christmas break.



Alex is modeling a hat I knit for a homeless shelter for teens in California. My goal is to knit one or two hats a month and have a big box to send next fall.

I love seeing him look so happy.

9 comments:

  1. What a beautiful child. Tell'm I said that. Hang in there.

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  2. I like Happy Alex too! Hang in there. Love ya!

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  3. I know you have to feel so overwhelemed in so many ways... hang in there... I know you are doing whatever it takes to make your child's life better...

    And it WILL get better!!!

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  4. Hold on to those happy moments and remind him of them.

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  5. Oh, poor baby. Dealing with his anger and sadness every school morning must break your heart.
    I wonder if someone gave a talk to the class about him if it would help? My niece has Tourettes and every Fall, the school brings in a doctor to talk to the school about Tourettes and then she herself gets up and talks about it. It helps tremendously. Alex would probably rather pull out his own teeth than do that, but could his teacher could talk to the students (when he's not there)about compassion?

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  6. Oh hon, I know you are having a hard go of things right now. I hope that you have some opportunities to take breaks for yourself. I'll call you soon and we'll see about getting yours and mine together.

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  7. I can't imagine what you go through every morning. I'm so sorry. Here's a big [[[hug]]] - hope it helps.

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  8. My thoughts and prayers are with you as always. I don't know if this is an option for you or not, but in 1st grade I had to pull my son out of school due to anxiety disorder and homeschool him. We are still homeschooling, 8th grade this year. If that is something that you can work out with your families finances, even if for just the rest of the school year to get his meds and such taken care of you might see a big difference. HUGS!!

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  9. What a superstar smile! I'm so sorry to hear things are still rough for Alex. Feel free to send me a private email if you need to.

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