Monday, March 24, 2008

Elbow or shells??

An incident this evening has me thinking. How do you decide things between children? If it is always the oldest, then the youngest is always last and upset. Or the other way around. Do you try to remember who it was last time? Or is it the one that was least bad that day? You can never forget the "I asked first" or its' cousin "It was my idea" Then there is "not fair"
Someone is always going to be disappointed. I don't want to disappoint them, and I certainly don't want to disappoint the same one all the time. The squeaky wheel does get greased, I know from experience. So what do you do, I don't have the answer I wish I did.
But tonight when the arguing and yelling started about mac & cheese and both boxes ended up opened. I made a stand. I looked at them and said" you want elbow and you want shells, well guess what I am going to do" Can you guess? I bet you can.

I dumped both boxes in the boiling water and they had shells & elbow mac & cheese.

15 comments:

  1. LOL!!!!!!!!
    It's hard to decide...I usually give in to the one that's annoying me the least.
    The thing I hate is the "I GO FIRST I GO FIRST" into the car, the house... my new reply to that is who ever goes first gets "----" (insert something they would NOT want!) Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes they laugh because it's so outrageous they know I'm lying but it breaks the I GO FIRST chanting!

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  2. I would have done the exact same thing, so job well done Sonya! :) I'll have to admit, at times when the arguing and yelling begins over a toy (if it wasn't too expensive), I have walked right over, taken it out of their hands and tossed it in the garbage, and said, "That is what happens when you argue over toys." That changed their attitudes real fast, lol!

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  3. Well, I never had kids, so I can't say from experience that this works, but I heard (what sounded like) a great idea on the radio the other day. A frustrated mom was having a similar problem until she assigned everyone in the house (mom, dad, kids, even the dog) a day that they could be the one making the choices, or sit by a window, or whatever, really. Kind of like "Queen for a Day"! She posted a calendar in the kitchen so everyone knew when their day was. No "squeaky wheel" thing any more!

    Hope this helps.

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  4. Dianne, I like that. Thanks!

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  5. I only have two kids, so this works out perfectly -- one has odd days and one has even days. (Months with a 31st in them have one day of parents' choice to prevent the odd child from having two days in a row.) We've been doing this since the kids were 3 and 5 and they totally get it, and it stops lots of those arguments.

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  6. We always have arguments over pasta shapes, too. I like thin spaghetti, Ian likes linguine, Ben likes shells and Tim likes ziti. It's too bad that the timing on all those is different, though, or I'd do the same thing you did! Great idea : )

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  7. In the classroom I put all the kids names on a popsicle stick and randomly pull one. You could also put an equal number of each of their names in a jar and pull them out as you go along throughout the day/week. Then they both get the same number of decisions to make.

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  8. But great idea with dumping in both kinds of noodles!

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  9. First, thanks for the comment on my blog. Second, good job on the shells and elbows. Third, I won't offer any more advice than has been offered here. My girls are grown, and have been endowed with enough 'family of origin' issues to support a battery of therapists into retirement.
    If I could do it again, I would remember the gifts they were...are... more often.

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  10. mmmm, mac and cheese sounds good :D

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  11. As you can see, I took a short cut and decided to have an only child. I don't think I can handle sibling rivelry very well, even if it's good for the kids (is it?). Now the kid just argues with me and sometimes I have to use the executive decision making power, "because I said so!"

    I like what you did with the pastas, very creative, and problem solved.

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  12. Great call mom!!!!! And thank God that the test came back negative. It is things like that that put things into perspective for us doesn't it?

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  13. Maybe I can never make decisions because my mother never let me when I was younger (and sometimes tries not to now)... and maybe I am doing the same thing to my kids because I don't often let them decide on things either. With 4, its just easier to do it my way... LOL

    I'm loving the prince/ss thing for a day... I might have to try that out!

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  14. I have 3 children and they each have what we call 'child of the day'. That child gets to sit where they want, help with dinner, etc. It works out great!

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  15. In my practice, i recommend the "child of the day" approach, too. You go through the calender, and go through alternating their names. If their name is on the calender, it's their day to decide where to sit, to choose the game or toy, first piece of dessert, to go first through the door, whatever their little power struggles include. AND the child of the day also gets to be the one to help mom and dad with those extra little things that are not their actual chores but that you need a little help with. It's a good way to teach them that with privelege comes responsibility. The kids usually love this idea and are very cooperative about following the order. And I love your solution to the pasta - LOL!

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