Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I've been thinking...

After a very interesting conversation last night, I have been thinking about what makes a person who they are at any given point in their life.
I'm not talking about nurture versus nature, that does play a big part though. Some may think where you live, or if you had money, the right friends or clothes.
I think it is the hardships we endure that mold us the most. At the time you may not recognize it as a hardship. But it is the failures, losses and bad decisions in life that have the strongest impact. Most everyone has a turning point in life, like you just woke up from a daze and can finally see where you are heading. Then we ask ourselves, how did I end up here. For some it takes years to wake up and may be devastating for those around you to watch.
If things had happened differently would you be who you are today? Looking back I wonder did I really have to go through all of that to get here. Wasn't there an easier way to find the person you want to be.
I have told my friends that they would have not liked me 15-20 years ago. Bad tempered, naive, afraid to say much. A blog would never have been possible. Who the hell would be interested in anything I had to say.
John talks about what it would have been like if we had met when younger. What was I doing when he was 20 (well, I was 15 and he was too old for me). I wasn't ready for him when I was 20. I don't think I became an adult until I was 25 years old. We all have been molded by our hardships, and for the most part have come out stronger.


  1. The old adage, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger? I think so, but only because it does apply to me. Of course, stronger is not always better, is it? Are you stronger and better? I sure do like who you've become.

  2. i'm so glad i didn't meet bobby till i did even tho meeting him sooner would've put the most wonderful man i know in my life longer...not sure i would've been able to keep him back then's all about timing for sure! i think you have to face yourself! once you can do that, you can do anything!

  3. It really is the mistakes that teach us so much about ourselves & about life! They really form us to be better people or worse - is how you handle the screw ups in life!

    Good post!

  4. For me, it is the neverending flares of illness that teach me that I don't want anyone else to have to go through things alone, not if I can help it. I have lupus, and am grateful to have had it.

    (And having learned those lessons, now we could just make that part of my life go away and I'd like that a whole lot too, but what the heck.)

  5. We all need someone or a few someones in our lives to teach us what we should be looking for. I would not have been able to keep Chris if I had found him when I married my ex. It probably would have ended sooner because I didn't know what I wanted and/or needed in my life, but I do now. I so glad he's here now, and I am thankful for him every day.

  6. I agree. Absolutely. Hardships develop character.

  7. Survivors are the strongest, no doubt about that. Our experiences mold who we are, many of us get stronger and better as time goes by.

    I met my husband when I was very young and he has been a major force in bringing me up in this country. He's a saint.

  8. Such a thought provoking post...I don't know exactly when I became the person that I am today...and I think that as I experience more even at this age, I'm still constantly evolving.

    And same for me...if I had met my husband even 5 years earlier, I don't think the attraction would have been there. Funny how that is.

  9. thanks for kicking my brain in the butt today... i'm glad somebody else besides me thinks about this stuff... ;)

    every five years i feel more like an adult, and notice what a naive moron i had previously been. i never really stop being a naive moron, mind you, i just get better at it. the good thing is, i would never trade all the crappy stuff in life, because i wouldn't be this strong without it.

  10. we're all works in progress, aren't we? I agree that the hardships we endure affect us and mold our character. But what is it the makes the difference between whether hardships make you turn worse, or turn the hardships into something better? I haven't figured that one out yet!

  11. Love this entry, lifes lessons......mold us. Growth is never easy. Its how you move on that changes you. Love your blog!


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