Sunday, July 15, 2007

July, my least favorite month

July is hot, sticky, muggy, sweltering, I could come up with lots of adjectives but you get the picture. July is also the month of birthdays in my family. My younger brother turned 32 on the 11th and my younger sister will be 30 on the 25th. Then July 29th will come. No matter how much I hope we can skip that day it always comes. I have always had a little trouble with my birthday. Turning 25 was the worst. I felt like I had done nothing with my life. I was a quarter of a century old, 1/3 of my life was over. What had I done?? Well, I was tired of who I was, did not really like myself. I wanted to do things that no one would ever except from me. Very un-Sonya like things. So I became a bartender, got my first tattoo, became engaged and went on a trip to Ireland. All within about 2 months after my birthday. The ones between then and now have been ok. 30 was a little hard and then 35.
I have trouble getting this year's number out. Like Fonzi trying to say he was wrong. I don't feel my age, I know I don't act it (just ask my kids). I see my family getting older around me. My aunt was planning her funeral the other day. I told her I did not want to know anything about it until I had no choice. My mom tried to tell me that she is getting old, 74 now. I said nope, she is in her late 40s cursing out the rude cashier at the local grocery.
I have people frozen at a certain ages. When I think about them they are always that age, the age when I was with them and had a good time or they were there for me.
Shared in my joys and tragedies. Made me feel better, or special in a family with 4 kids. It can be very hard when I am forced to acknowledge the real age of a loved one. At some point I will have to embrace getting older. But not this year.

9 comments:

  1. August is that for me, my mother birthday, my best friend is due to deliver a new birthday, one of my other best friends... and since they're all SOOO close to me, I can't just give them dishcloths. SIGH!

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  2. Aw, Happy Birthday - despite how you may feel about it.

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  3. Hahaha. I'll have to remember to take a photo when I'm blocking everything. Along with a before and after photo of the bed of course!!!
    The Murphy Bed would be much more convinent (but not nearly as cool) if it didn't serve as a full-wall book shelf when up... meaning pulling the bed down involves lots of book shifting as well... heh.

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  4. Hey you. Happy birthday. You're looking young from my angle (got past the halfway mark on that four dozen there. But I'm still counting, and I like that!)

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  5. Happy Birthday. I just came across your blog but I just could help but comment that I felt the same when I turned 25. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. a quarter a century was tough...but since them I've changed jobs and become happier than I've ever been. :)

    Happy Birthday.

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  6. i hope you remember me at 21 haha. or it might've been 19 when i knew you first!

    you are one of my favorite people and it is all YOU, not your age!

    i like that my group of friends are all various ages, but we all act the same and can't really tell the difference unless we discuss pop culture. which i was never "hip" anyway, so i'm always a mess about that stuff!

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  7. Hee. 27 was particularly difficult for me. 40 wasn't so bad. Isn't that strange? I know what you mean. I don't *feel* old either. :)

    Happy happy birthday to you! May the coming year be the best yet.

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  8. Take comfort in the fact that as you lose one thing to age, you'll gain another. Such as losing your girlish figure in exchange for gaining a 'who cares what anybody thinks" attitude. Or losing your memory in exchange for gaining "power surges" (aka hotflashes). Hey, I just said you'd gain something, I didn't say it was better!

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